As cliche as the title is, it is true. We are halfway through 2015 and I feel like things are heading in the right direction.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/find-three-hobbies-you-love-one-make-you-money.html
http://greenlikebathwater.tumblr.com/post/78593192543
Things have finally started to look up for me. The last couple of weeks I have started earning money through casual work and I am loving it. I am like my mum, in that, she loves to work. Even as a stay at home mum for over a decade she was constantly doing something. I have started setting myself goals for each day of things I want to get done and have proactively looked for more jobs this week. Even though it means a much busier lifestyle, I love it. It leaves me less time to think and more time to strive for better things.
All this being said, at the moment I am not going as hard as I am sick and it is the uni exam period. I am taking it easy and doing some of the things I was not able to do beginning uni as I was so 'into' doing everything right and being the perfect student. This left me little time to do the things I love like going on the computer or on the X Box, lying on the couch for hours on end reading a great book and even just spending the day cooking.
At the moment, I am babysitting two of the cutest kids on a casual basis and am working for another company doing jobs here and there. Today I may also get a call from another woman in regards to another babysitting job! I am so excited! The other day one of my friends told me I am probably sick because "I never stop"; this put a smile on my face as it meant that I am working hard and that this can be seen by those around me. This is a trait that I have seen in my mum and that I am proud to have.
http://zsazsabellagio.tumblr.com/
http://www.hplyrikz.com/page/3
On the more 'mental'-work related side of things I am starting to look after myself more. Instead of getting up early and forcing myself to eat the 'healthiest' meal I can think of, I eat what I feel like (which has been the country style raisin toast - eh ma gawd!). This being said, I still eat everything in moderation and I do not over eat; I eat till I am full; not 'bursting' full but 'content' full. I have been eating less fruits and vegetables but that is okay too. I am still eating them but just not with every single meal!
One thing I have really struggled with this month is the whole 'looking for love' notion. I went to a 19th party and there was a really cute couple who I found myself despising. This was because they looked so lovey-dovey and I wanted that. The stupid thing is though, I am by no means 'ready' for a relationship - I need to work on myself before I can allow someone else to love me too. I know this sounds extreme, but I honestly don't know if I will ever be ready for a relationship; I don't think I could survive being 'let down' by them. The thought of spending the rest of my life with family and friends, and doing the things I love makes me so excited and happy.
I know deep down I want that kind of love; the love where you would give up your life for another person; the love where you know they love you back; the love where you can just sit at home and cuddle and be idiots together; but it scares the hell out of me. It is something I really do not like talking about, but I know it is something that I have to deal with.
On a non-work related note, I have not worked out in a while as I just did not feel like it. I want to be active and fit but I want to ensure I am not doing it for the wrong reasons again. As stupid as it may sound, most of the time I am not completely 'aware' of the reasons I want to work out. I may go on pinterest and look up fitness workouts and want to do them, but in the back of my mind I am also thinking "I want to look like them". I made a fitness board of workout clothes that inspire me and that I want to replicate, and this has created the basis of a more positive mind frame.
http://www.sneakerheadstore.net/categories/nike-free-50-women-c-46_52.html
https://www.etsy.com/listing/189394642/muscles-and-manicures-workout-clothes?utm_source=OpenGraph&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share
I really do think creating my own colourful and fun work out gear will make working out more positive and inspiring. I am at a stage in my life where I do not have time to go back to my old ways, nor do I want to. Everything is finally moving forward for me - I do not want to go back to the past.
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