All The Bright Places - Jennifer Niven (reflection)

https://www.penguin.com.au/products/9780141357034/all-bright-places

I happened upon this book through watching Zoella's youtube videos a while back but it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago found it whilst shopping. I did not really expect much of this book as I thought it would be an average read but boy, was I wrong. The start of the book began like any other book but the further I got into it, the harder it became to part with it. Jennifer Niven hooked me in from the very beginning and before I even knew what was happening she had my heart in the palms of the hands. The story itself was very relateable, especially in this day and age where in which mental illnesses such as depression and bipolar disorder are so prevalent, especially in teenagers.

After finishing it, I was really down for about a week. It was the most emotional and heart wrenching book I have ever read. This is mainly due to two reasons. 1) Niven's way of writing is captivating and relateable to a wide audience, and 2) I saw myself in Finch, one of the main characters. 

*Warning: spoilers ahead*

Throughout the book, two characters, Theodore Finch and Violet Markey, form a close bond unlike no other and fall in love. They had both suffered from tragedy in their lives that left them struggling and contemplating suicide. The aspect of the book that really got to me was the fact that you were constantly questioning Finch throughout it. Does he have depression? Nah, he won't really commit suicide? This is just a phase! But, the deeper into the story you get, the stronger the foreboding feeling within your heart becomes. You know something really devastating will happen and there is nothing you can do about it; the story has already been written and published after all! Long story short, Finch experiences severe highs and lows in his life, strongly resembling the peaks and troughs experienced by sufferers of bipolar and depression. Over the course of the book, these lows become more frequent and last longer, leading Finch to start closing himself off from Violet and distancing himself. He ends up camping out in his wardrobe with the lights off, hardly ever coming out. Finch ends up committing suicide, completely devastating and taking the love of his life by surprise. 

What makes me upset to think about, even weeks after reading the book, is that Finch tried his hardest to get better and to live, for Violet. He feared going to sleep because he feared he would be absorbed into one of his low points again. I feel as if Finch had a feeling something was 'wrong' with his brain but that he didn't want to admit that as it would lead to a diagnosis. When his therapist mentioned bipolar in one of their many meetings, he got really angry and stormed out. Niven's All The Bright Places is a very good representation of today's society, where in which mental illnesses such as depression and others are taboo. Not only are they taboo, but there is a lack of understanding when it comes to the signs. This combined with many not wanting to even consider the idea of someone being 'mentally ill' leads to so many teenagers and young adults like Finch losing their lives. 

The saddest part by far of the book would have to be that Finch wanted to get better and that he could have gotten better. All of the resources were there but no one wanted to admit it. Thinking about it now though, I wonder; would the outcome have still been the same if Violet had have had the courage to seek help for him? Would Finch have still eventually taken his own life?

Above, I said that I saw myself in Finch. Talking to my mum about the book after reading it I could not help but cry. For days, I could not talk about the book without crying. During one of our discussions, mum said something to me that I will never forget: "it sounds kind of familiar". To this I asked "what do you mean?" to which she responded "Finch reminds me of you". This made me cry A LOT as I have put my family through hell. Without my mum, I would not be alive. Not only did she pull me out of my eating disorder, but she also stuck by me through my low periods and made me realize that they will not last forever. 

If Finch had have gotten the help he needed and had the support from his family, he would still be alive. After having finished All The Bright Places I felt like I had lost a very dear friend. That his how invested I became in Violet and Finch's relationship and their futures. Niven made me feel like everything would turn out alright and then...BAM! Something devastating happens, emphasizing the unpredictability of mental illnesses and thus, also highlighting the importance of talking about mental illness. 

One of the most popular girls in the book was on the brink of taking her own life and was too ashamed to speak out about it. This kind of negative mentality towards mental illness needs to be defeated. It is killing innocent people. People like Finch who are struggling to live.  

 

http://allthebrightplaces.tumblr.com/page/48