Dear my 15 year old self...
I know you have been through a lot the past couple of years but be prepared, the next couple of years will be equally as tough, if not tougher. Don't worry, we will get to that later. The two most important things I want to share with you is that:
1. You are worthy and deserving of love, even when you feel like you are at your lowest
2. The number on the scale and the size of your clothing in no way defines you
As difficult and painful as it will all feel, you will get through it all in the next four years. Trust me, I know in the actual moments it will feel unbearable and you will want to disappear, but you will come out on the other side stronger. Not only this, but you will come out on top!
Over the next four years, you will make some stupid and hurtful decisions - even though it feels like your family hates you, they don't; they are just worried about you! Like everyone, your priorities will become confused and you will choose people over the ones that really matter - this will act as a learning curve and will only strengthen your relationships with key people. The first year of uni will most likely be the hardest year yet, but again, you will get through it! There are exciting things ahead for you so keep working hard and learning from your mistakes - you will witness these things happen!
Friendships during this time will come and ago. During uni, you will meet some amazing people whom you will be friends with for a looong time to come! You will also fall out of touch with a lot of people - friendships you previously thought of as stable will be anything but this. Your confidence will continue to saw during university, as meet new people through work and school. Remember though, do not change yourself to meet the needs of other people. You will meet people who love you for you!
One thing that will hold true throughout all of this, is that your family are your forever. Friendships come and go, but your family are the ones who will continuously stand by you, even in the times you do not feel worthy of their support.
Although hard times are ahead, there is a massive light at the end of the dark tunnel - try to keep smiling and loving life as much as you can! You will be okay at the end of it. Trust me, I know - I am experiencing it all right now. <3
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